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by a Wise One

…I was recently at a gathering reuniting many people I’d known back in college (some 30+ years ago). They were all uniquely successful, yet almost all of them had dropped out of school for anywhere from one semester to 10 years (‘This was ‘W,’ who then went on to law school in his late 30′s and became mayor of a large city!). ‘X’ dropped out several times, preferring to hitch cross country, book another 9 years to get her PhD in science and is now a highly-recognized researcher and professor. ‘Y’ dropped out, changed majors—and schools —several times, and is now the COO of an award-winning regional bank.

When ‘Z’ became pregnant, she dropped out. Went on to have 5 kids, yet managed to get her degree and become a well-respected, dedicated teacher. What struck me was that all of these people (there were others with similar stories) love what they do and are excellent at it.

…So as painful as it is to see my own child struggling to find his way, this gathering was a terrific reminder that some people have to go at their own pace and may take a lot longer to know what they want, but can still be happy and successful—on their own terms!

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He struck out 1,330 times while at bat.
He also scored a record 71 home runs.
It all depends on how you look at it,
whether Babe Ruth was a success or a failure.

He suffered two breakdowns,
lost 5 elections and failed to graduate from law school.
Yet he kept trying, and Abraham Lincoln went on to become President.

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing.
The worst thing you can do is nothing.” 

-Theodore Roosevelt

“While we may not be able to control all that happens to us,
we can control what happens inside us.” 

-Benjamin Franklin

“What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.” 

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Change before you have to.” 

-Jack Welch

 

 

“Tough times never last, but tough people do.”

-Robert H. Schuller

“The human mind can only handle one thought at a time. Make that thought a positive one.”

-Annonomous

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass.  It’s about knowing how to dance in the rain.

Anger cannot be overcome by anger. If someone is angry
with you, and you show anger in return, the result is a disaster.
On the other hand, if you control your anger and show its
opposite – love, compassion, tolerance and patience – not only
will you remain peaceful, but the other person’s anger will also
diminish.

-Dalai Lama

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by Nancy Wood

The world is hard up for simple things. I don’t mean the artificial simplicity of politics, religion, or social argument. I mean things that naturally abound-exploding sunsets, rippling streams, the sighing of the wind, the chirping of crickets. Beauty. Mystery. Wonder. Essential truths that connect us, in an age of frightening greed and disregard to the core of life itself.

I live in the southwestern part of the country. At daybreak a raven sits in the juniper tree outside my window and awakens me with a persistent call. In that voice I recognize a wild, unbroken continuity. For a moment, I see him against the searing heat of an extinct volcano that used to erupt not far from here. He endures.

On my back patio a little olive-drab lizard, looking like a miniature dinosaur, pushes himself up and down in the sunlight. In his goofy aerobics I see a reflexive motion as old as the first reptile. He offers reassurance whenever I’m afraid. He, also, endures.

The coyotes who prowl the nearby wilderness serenade me all night long. When I listen carefully, I realize they are singing many different songs. In their voices I sense the excitement of a language older than words. Those coyotes not only endure, they survive all of man’s attempts to kill them with poison, bullets, or steel traps.

Simple truths are what get lost amid the anxiety of our technological world. The vacant look of teenagers milling around shopping malls – bothers me. So do the harsh voices of politicians and religious leaders, telling us what we may or may not do with our lives. Spiritual bankruptcy is manifest in computers, call waiting, application forms, income tax forms, interstates, snowmobiles, fast-food chains, network TV, Wal-Mart, Disney, and all things plastic. The world is reinventing itself into conformity, trivia, and dehumanization. Koyaanisqatsi, the Hopi call it: turmoil, despair, life out of balance. Centuries ago, they predicted the moral and spiritual crisis that is crippling our nation today.

The Pueblo Indians of New Mexico have been my friends for more than thirty years. They taught me to examine the depths of a wild rose, to ponder the meaning of fresh leaves, sleepy turtles, river stones, and passing clouds. They took me into the mountains, where I felt a mysterious healing grace. They showed me how to lie facedown on the earth, to rediscover the cyclical nature of leaves, flowers, and grass. They taught me how to listen. How to catch the wind. How to converse with streams. How to accept the raven and the coyote as my spirit guides. How to recognize my fragile connection to all life that has gone before and all that will follow after.

Thus, when I hold an ancient Indian grinding stone in my hand, I imagine that long-ago woman, kneeling over a stone metate to grind corn or to pound wild meat until it was tender enough to roast over coals. If her life was hard, there were rewards: watching the same white clouds that I see above my head, walking the same red earth, breathing the same pure air. I feel a kinship with her when I find pottery shards scattered in the wilderness. Who was the woman who painted those simple designs on a clay pot? What did she think about when she worked? Did her children live to grow up? Was she loved?

Native Americans have lived on this continent some twenty thousand years. They based their lives on everyday experience and created a religion from it; they had no words for sin, guilt, or redemption; no concept of heaven or hell. Each individual was responsible for himself or herself; each worked for the greater good of the tribe. Their actions were justified by an intricate system of beliefs unacceptable to European invaders, who managed to destroy, in little more than five hundred years, nearly everything native people had held dear for millennia.

Native Americans did not invent bombs, wheels, chemicals, or concrete; they did not create environmental pollution, urban sprawl, traffic jams, or crime. In their world, the Great Spirit abided in all living things, offering harmony, meaning, and acceptance. They did not have to look far to discover a sense of purpose in their lives; as the sun rose, so did they. As trees lived and died, so did they. Each moment offered a unique lesson. When spring came, they noticed blossoms and birds. When a bear crossed their path, they invented a story. Songs came about through joy, sorrow, or mystery. Night and day assumed deep, spiritual meaning, as did the powerful sun, the ever growing and shrinking moon, the rotating pattern of stars, the magic of each season. All this was part of the expanding, never-ending whole.

My own experience has been largely here in New Mexico, though the Southern Utes and the Ute Mountain Utes of Colorado were part of my learning process, too. Since 1961, when I first met a Taos Pueblo medicine man, I’ve felt as much kinship with the Indians as I feel with ravens, lizards, and coyotes. They – and we – are of the same material, the same essence. It’s taken a while to understand that Native American wisdom, so envied by non-Indians, so imitated and so abused, is basically an awareness and appreciation of the complex, magical world around us. Nature, not us, is what keeps on giving.

To the Pueblos of New Mexico, the Twelve Great Paths of the Moon are part of that awareness and appreciation. The moons they watch are the moons of their ancestors and of children yet unborn; they are our moons, too, inviting reflection on our lives and on the alarming condition of the world. For it is not through war or violence that lives and nations are changed, but through application of old, enduring truths. These truths have no label – Christian, Jewish, Muslim, or Buddhist – for they are simply our most basic connection to one another, to origins, and to a future that must contain the promise of ages past.

I offer here my own interpretation of the Twelve Great Paths of the Moon, a series of poems and meditations to help each of us on our journey.

Nancy Wood, Santa Fe, New Mexico December 1994
From the book Dancing Moons
© Nancy Wood, 1994

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Dear Mom and Dad

1. Don’t spoil me. I know quite well that I ought not have all that I ask for. I am only testing you. Love is not measured by the number of gifts you bestow on me, but the way you listen to me. respect me and guide me as I grow up.
2. Don’t be afraid to be firm with me. I prefer it, it makes me feel secure. It helps me learn boundaries.
3. Don’t let me form bad habits. 1 have to rely on you to detect them in the early stages.
4. Don’t make me feel smaller than I am. It only makes me behave stupidly “big.” My self esteem is fragile.
5. Don’t try to discuss my behavior in the heat of the situation. For some reason my hearing is not very good then and my cooperation is even worse. Your objectMty ain’t so hot then either.
6. Don’t correct me in front of others, if you can help it.
7. Don’t make me feel that my mistakes are sins. It upsets my sense of values. We all make mistakes. Help me learn from my mistakes, not suffer because of them.
8. Don’t protect me from consequences. I need to learn the painful way sometimes.
9. Don’t be too upset when I say “I hate you.” It isn’t you I hate but your power to thwart me and the fear that I have lost control of the situation. I do know that words and actions can hurt more than physical abuse. We need to both try harder.
10. Don’t take too much notice of my whines and complaints. Sometimes they get me the attention that I need, but you and I both know I’d be better off getting attention in a “healthier” way.
11. Don’t ignore bad habits. They are danger signs that you and I have a problem.
12. Don’t nag. If you do I will have to protect myself by appearing deaf.
13. Don’t forget that I can not explain myself as well as I should like. This is why I am not always accurate. Many times I do things that I am not sure why I did it. They were not to hurt you– or myself. I really did not know why.
14. Don’t put me off when I ask questions. If you do, you will find that I stop asking questions of you and will seek information elsewhere.
15. Don’t be inconsistent. That completely confuses me and makes me lose faith in you.
16. Don’t tell me my fears are silly. They are terrible and real and you can do much to reassure me if you understand.
17. Don’t ever suggest that you are perfect or infallible. It gives me too great a shock when I discover that you are neither. No one is perfect, nor always right or wrong. That’s okay.
18. Help me grow to know the difference between right and wrong.
19. Don’t ever think that it is beneath your dignity to apologize to me. An honest apology makes me feel surprisingly warm towards you.
20. Don’t use force with me. I respond more rapidly to being led than to force or to ultimatums..
21. Don’t forget how quickly I am growing up. It must be very difficult for you to keep pace with me, but please do try. Help me grow.
22. Don’t forget that I don’t thrive without lots of love and understanding, but I don’t need to tell you- do 11 Love is not smothering but providing examples.
23. Don’t make promises you cannot keep. Remember that I feel badly when promises are broken.
24. I am sorry for the words I spoke and the promises I made that I could not keep.
25. I am sorry for all the things I meant to do and I did not; for the things I tried to do and did not succeed in doing.
    

    We must hold fast to our dreams
    For if dreams die
    Life is like a broken winged bird that cannot fly.
    Hold fast to our dreams
    For when dreams go
    Life is a barren field
    Frozen with snow. (Langston Hughes)

26. Please keep yourself fit and healthy. I need you!

Harold R. Meyer and Susan K. Lasky

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