If you or your child has, or suspect you have, Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADD or ADHD), you will most likely consult with a specialist or professional at some time, whether for diagnosis, evaluation, treatment, or remediation.

• You may decide to have a formal evaluation for ADD/ADHD that may also include testing for learning disabilities and/or neurological issues.
• You might seek an independent educational evaluation as to whether or not your child’s school is addressing his or her needs in the most constructive manner.
• You may decide your child would benefit from an after-school tutor, or your college-aged child might need help with organization and time management.
• You might be considering medication and decide to see a psychiatrist or other medical professional.
• You might deside counseling is needed, whether it is with a psychotherapist, psychologist, therapist, social worker or marriage counselor.
• You may be interested in the practical skills and accountability that would come from working with a coach.

The Importance of a “Good Fit”

You want to look for a “good fit” between you/your child and the professional—this can make a significant difference in the outcome of the treatment. However, selecting the most appropriate professional is a time-consuming and difficult task.

Based on the experiences of many of our clients, both as adults and as parents, and the suggestions of many professionals, we’ve put together certain questions you can ask, and strategies you can follow, to make this task easier and more successful. These suggestions should help, but here is the most important advice we can give you:

You are the ultimate expert on your child, and yourself. You know your child far better than anyone else does. Your opinions should be taken seriously by any professional you select to work with your child.

Don’t let yourself get caught up by an “expert” who is condescending or intimidating. Listen to your ”gut reaction. ” You are your child’s advocate. You are also your own. If you feel there is no chemistry between you and the professional, reconsider any long-term relationship. (Also be aware that the professional is not there to be your friend, to “yes” you, or to coddle you. You want honesty and directness, and sometimes you’d rather not hear what needs to be said.)

Be an informed consumer. Interview several experts to get a taste of different approaches to treatment; consider which approach might be best for your child; which approach best suits your personality. At the same time, avoid the trap of continually searching for the “ideal” professional.

While you must be responsible for making all major decisions affecting your child, do encourage the child to participate in the decision-making process, wherever appropriate. We all tend to be more invested in the outcome of events when we participate in the planning, and your child is no exception.

Keep in mind that adults with ADD/ADHD are not the best self-reporters. It is often helpful to have a spouse or someone who knows you well at the intake. After all, you want the professional to get as clear a picture of the situation as possible. Leave your ego (the part that wants to show the world only your best aspects, or minimize your child’s problems) at home.

Keep in mind that all children (particularly adolescents, although even 6 year olds) will occasionally resist regular meetings with a long-term treatment specialist (such as a tutor or therapist). However, any ongoing complaints or active non-compliance needs to be examined carefully and discussed openly with your child, listening to his or her comments and feelings. Encourage your child to “buy in” to the process. When there are problems, it may be advisable to meet with the professional to discuss this issue.

Sometimes, an individual’s needs will change over time and one therapist, whose work has been helpful in the past, will become ineffective. Plan to reassess any long-term arrangement at regular intervals, and stay flexible and responsive to your child’s/your own changing requirements.

It is difficult, as a parent, not to be drawn to the professional who provides the most positive prognosis. Try to meet with enough professionals to form a realistic picture, even if it’s not the one you would like to hear. Don’t shop around for the most optimistic diagnosis—look for the best relationship and a realistic approach to diagnosis and treatment.

Locate Suitable Professionals

Some of the professionals you may be looking for, over a period of time, may include diagnostic (pediatric neurologist, child psychiatrist, psychologist, educational evaluator, etc.) and treatment (psychologist, social worker, speech/language therapist, occupational therapist, tutor, psycho- pharmacologist, pediatrician, etc.).

Contact different sources for recommendations as to suitable professionals:

• In NYC: CHADD of New York City (212) 721-0007
• Resources for Children with Special Needs (212) 677-4650
• Advocates for Children (212) 947.3089
• The ADD Resource Center: (646) 205-8080
• Outside of NYC: Contact CHADD National for a local chapter near you: chadd.org
• Your MD
• Your child’s school
• Friends and acquaintances with similar issues
• Resources for Children with Special Needs (212) 677-4650
• Advocates for Children (212) 947.3089
• It is recommended that you interview at least three professionals.

Initial Phone Contact

• Make this contact short and sweet.
• Indicate you are seeking a consultation.
• Give name, address, sex and age of your child.
• Offer the name of referring source (how you located this professional).
• State problem as you see it; as others (schools, etc. see it). If you suspect your child may have ADD/ADHD, say so.
• If your child has been previously diagnosed, state who did the diagnosis and when. If your child has not been previously diagnosed by a qualified professional, state this fact.
• If your child is already on ADD/ADHD medication, give the name and amount, results as you see it.
• Ask about this professional’s training and background in his/her area of expertise. If appropriate, inquire as to affiliations with hospitals, clinics, etc.
• Confirm that it is the person you are speaking with, rather than an associate, who would be seeing the child.
• Ask your questions, and set up the initial meeting, only with the person who will be seeing the child.
• Ask specifically about his/her experience working with children with ADD/ADHD and their families.
  Note: This can be discussed during the actual interview, but you might be able to save time and eliminate inappropriate candidates by well-chosen telephone questions.
• Clarify the role you would like this professional to play in providing assistance to your family.
• Have questions prepared that will help you determine whether you feel this professional would be a good match for your child.
• Inquire about fees, fee scale, insurance payments, etc.
• If interested in pursuing an initial interview/consultation, check whether there is a fee.
• Find out how the professional prefers the initial session; with only the parents, with the child, or as a family group, etc. Note: Question carefully any treatment professional who doesn’t want to see the child prior to agreeing to treatment. This is less important with an educational evaluator, neuropsychological tester or psychopharmacologist, where expertise is the only critical criteria for selection.

Make the Initial Appointment

• Inquire exactly what will be reviewed at the initial session.
• Ask if you should send copies of any documents you have prior to the interview.
• lf the professional you’re speaking with will be seen regularly over a period of time (psychologist, speech and language or occupational therapist, reading specialist, etc.) and time is extremely limited so you can only schedule regular sessions for specific hours, you should check now to see if the person you would be seeing is there at an acceptable time.
• You should meet with the professional first, without the child. Only after you’ve determined there is a potentially good relationship, but before you’ve made any commitments, should you have the professional meet with the child. (This applies more for therapeutic services.)
• If you’re making the second appointment (for the therapist or evaluator to meet the child), leave time to speak with the professional after he/she meets your child. Do not go in first, as this sets the relationship up in the eyes of the child as primarily between the parent and therapist. If you have a young child, find out if there is some provision for watching the child for part of the session so you can speak privately. Can you bring someone along for that purpose?

The Appointment

• Both parents, if possible, should attend.
• Briefly review with the professional all that was said on the phone.
• Bring copies of all records pertaining to your child. (Although the professional may not wish to read these documents during the session.)
• Discuss in what ways, and with which approach/technique the professional could help your child.
• Specifically determine whether your child’s issues are within that person’s realm of expertise.
• Be prepared to give a child and family background (the nature and extent of this depending upon the type of professional service being sought). Note: The intake interview, where this information is usually discussed in detail, should be scheduled only after you’ve decided this is the professional you want to use.
• Discuss the professional’s experience with ADD/ADHD.
• Ask the professional to offer his/her view on the cause(s) of ADD/ADHD—this gives you some idea of how involved the person is with the topic; whether they know of current neurological studies, etc.
• Ask the percentage of current patients with ADD/ ADHD.
• Ask if the professional is familiar with CHADD or is a member.
• Inquire how quickly he/she will return phone calls.
• Check on references. Ask if you can speak with the parent of a client.
• If more than one professional is involved in your child’s treatment, ask this professional if he/she is:
• Willing to work closely with other professionals who are also working with the child and family, including school staff.
• Will he/she write reports if needed (fee?), attend meetings, have phone discussions, etc.?
• Discuss the specific contact, if any, the professional will have with your child’s teacher
• If the professional is an MD, find out how he/she will work with your child’s psychologist, if any; and if the person you’re interviewing is a psychologist or social worker, ask how they work with the medical doctor.
• One person should be clearly designated the coordinator. This is usually one or both parents, but it can be anyone on the child’s team.
• Review prospective starting date and available hours.
• Check on charges for cancellations.

Summarize the Interview, in case of any misunderstandings, then:

• Ask the professional if, given what he/she has been told about the child and what they’ve seen, do they think this is a good match for his/her services, or could they recommend another professional who might be even more appropriate for this child?
• If the person indicates a desire to work with you and your child, ask them to be specific as to why they think they can help in your particular situation.
• Ask if there are any special issues he/she would like to discuss that might influence your choice of professional.
• Request a day or as long as you need to think about it, make your decision and get back to them.

After the Interview

• Write a brief note to the various professionals you interviewed, thanking them for their time and insights, and for those not selected, a short comment to the effect that you’ve decided to work with someone you feel is more suitable for your child (and/or your pocketbook).
• For the professional you do select, it is a good idea to get a written confirmation of the particulars of treatment(frequency and length of sessions with child, with family, types of tests, costs, etc.)

Following are questions specific to a particular need, be it diagnosis, evaluation, treatment or remediation:

Questions if you are seeking a Diagnosis (Medical, Psychological, Educational, etc.):

• Ask for an outline of the methodology to be used to insure an accurate diagnosis. What criteria will be used? Will other professionals be included?
• What tests will be utilized? Will a school or home visit be necessary? How much time will it take? What additional costs can be anticipated?
• What treatment plan is likely to be recommended if the diagnosis is positive?
• Will the person making the diagnosis be the same person who will do ongoing treatment? Note: This is not necessarily the case. Some professionals specialize in diagnostics; others in treatment.
• Find our whether the evaluation will include a written report, specific recommendations (for the school, tutor, parents, etc.).
• Ask whether the tester is willing to meet with the school and explain test results, and whether he/she will be available in the future for any questions you still may have.
• Questions if the Professional is going to provide Therapy for your child (primarily Psychological); also applies to working with a Coach:
• What is the type of therapy used (“treatment modality”) Le.: individual, group, family, tri-modal?
• Review what the therapy “should” accomplish, from your perspective and from that of the professional.
• Ask how often the sessions will take place.
• Discuss if the professional sees this as totally open-ended or if he/she can assign a time frame to length of treatment.
• Ask how he/she (and you) will know the treatment is working. What criteria will be used to measure success? How much time is needed before this judgment can be made?
• Find out how you would be kept appraised of your child’s progress (Le., occasional phone calls, once a month meetings, etc.)
• Find out how the professional views the confidentiality of his/her meetings with your child—will they alert you to critical issues or consider it patient confidentiality?
• Inquire how frequently the treatment professional would like the child followed up by a psychopharmacologist.

Questions regarding Medication (primarily for the Psychopharmacologist):

• Discuss the pros and cons of medication and how monitoring is accomplished if medication is indicated.
• Ask what medications he/she is familiar with and has successfully used with ADD/ ADHD children; how long he/she has been prescribing each; personal preferences and reasons for them.
• Ask how each medication works and what are its side effects and contraindications.
• Ask how the medication is administered and adjusted.
• Ask the psychopharmacologist how he/she (and you) will know the medication is working? How will he/she/you know if is isn’t working? How long will it take to make this judgment?
• Ask how often the doctor needs to see the child and what will occur at these visits.

Questions about Testing (primarily for the Psychological/Educational Evaluator):

• Ask what tests will be administered to your child, at what location and by whom -Request specific names and forms.
• Ask why these tests are included in the test battery. What does each test show? How will each relate to your child’s specific diagnosis?
• Ask how many test sessions will be needed.
• Check that the evaluation includes a written report and specific recommendations (for the school, tutor, parents, etc.) Ask how long it will take for the test report to be ready. Specify if you have a time deadline.
• Ask how test results will be explained to you; how will further questions be answered?
• Ask whether the consultant is willing to meet with the school and explain test results, and whether he/she will be available in the future for any questions you still may have.
• State who should receive copies of the test report.
• Check on additional fees for reports, etc., if any.

Questions to ask the Educational Consultant/Advocate:

• Ask about the advocate’s experience with public, private and special education schools.
• Ask about his/her philosophy of appropriate educational placement for ADD/ADHD children.
• Ask about his/her knowledge of due-process rights for ADD/ADHD children in your school district.
• What is the person’s usual course of action with ADD/ADHD children? How much time is usually needed (and what outlay of money) to achieve the results you desire? Is there a retainer fee or an hourly rate?
• What is the typical cost of the service? Clarify your financial obligations for known items (i.e., school visit) and future possibilities (school board hearing).
• Ask how much parental participation is required? What will you be expected to do? What will the consultant/advocate do for you?
• Be clear as to what meetings he/she will attend, and with whom? Are there any meetings the advocate would want to instigate?

Questions for the Tutor/Educational Therapist:

• Ask about the tutor’s professional background (teaching experience, training, professional affiliations).
• Ask specifically about the tutor’s experience with working with children with ADD/ ADHD and the age range of those children.
• Ask about his/her philosophy of teaching children with ADD/ADHD. Does he/she have any negative feelings about medication as part of the treatment plan?
• Ask if the tutor is familiar with your child’s school and/or has ever worked with children from the school.
• Describe any academic difficulty your child is having. How might she/he approach this problem?
• Does the tutor work primarily on skills development, compensatory learning strategies or homework help?
• Is the tutor willing to maintain regular contact with the school if parent and school request it. Is there an additional fee for school visits?
• Ask how much parental involvement in the tutoring process is expected. Will the child be expected to complete homework from tutoring as well as assignments from school?
• Ask if the tutor will administer his/her own battery of tests before beginning instruction or will those administered by the educational evaluator be sufficient to begin.
• Ask how progress will be monitored.
• Ask about additional fees for written reports, missed sessions, etc.
• If you have additional tips or suggestions, please send them to us at the address below.

With special thanks to the following:

For information on CH.A.D.D. (Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder), visit to chadd.org

Related posts:

1. How to Make the School System Work for Your Child by Harold R. Meyer
2. Edward (Ned) Hallowell, M.D. on ADHD
3. Managing ADHD at Home and at School

As a resident of New York, you and your family have access to a statewide Prescription Assistance Program (PAP). Create and print your FREE discount prescription drug card below. This card will provide you with Rx medication savings of up to 75% at more than 56,000 pharmacies across the country including A&P, CVS/pharmacy, Hannaford, Kinney, Kmart, Pathmark, Stop and Shop, Target, Tops, Waldbaums, Walgreens, Walmart, Wegmans, and many more. You can create as many cards as you need. We encourage you to give cards to friends and family members.

Go to:  http://www.newyorkrxcard.com/index.php

Related posts:

1. ADHD As A Psychiatrist Views and Treats It
2. The Most Efficient Way to Respond to Your Emails
3. The Truth About Attention Deficit Disorder by Thomas E. Brown, Ph.D.

Contributed by Susan Lasky

We are often asked if our ADHD-related coaching, organizing and parenting services are covered by health insurance or are tax deductible.

Always check with your accountant first, but the following information applies to persons with disabilities:

According to the Tax Guide for Parents, published by the Family Resource Center on Disabilities, 2009 Editionhttp://www.frcd.org,

and reprinted by the Connecticut Association for Children and Adults with Learning Disabilities  http://www.cacld.org/Docs/TaxGuide.pdf :

“You are entitled to deduct as medical expenses the cost of services incurred to alleviate your child’s mental or physical condition:”

Professional Services:

• Payments to unlicensed practitioners if the type and quality of the services are not illegal.
• Treatments for specific conditions recommended by a doctor.

Educational Services:

• Tuition and tutoring fees for a learning disabled child by a neurological disorder (Revenue Ruling 78-349, 9/18/78)
• Special instructions or training (Section 213-l/e Internal Revenue Code 1954)
• Remedial reading or language training for a child with dyslexia or other disability (Revenue Ruling 69-607, C.B. 1969-2, 40)

Adults:  Some of these medical deductions may be claimed as business expenses (instead of medical expenses) if they are related to a disabled person’s business/occupation.

If claimed as business expenses, the deductions are not subject to the 7.5% medical limitation.

It is important to document all of your medical expenses by:

• Keeping careful records of all expenses with receipts, date of expense, etc., for at least three years, for possible auditing purposes.
• Obtaining certification from your doctor that the expense has been made for one or more of the following:  Diagnosis, cure, alleviation, prevention, treatment, or dysfunction of your child’s mental or physical condition.

Note:  IRS Publication 502, Medical and Dental Expenses contains more detailed information:  http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/p502.pdf

Also, according to the IRS Publication 907:  Tax Highlights for Persons with Disabilities: http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/p907.pdf

Impairment-Related Work Expenses

If you are disabled, you can take a business deduction for expenses that are necessary for you to be able to work.

If you take a business deduction for these impairment-related work expenses, they are not subject to the

7.5% limit that applies to medical expenses.

You are disabled if you have:

· A physical or mental disability (for example, blindness or deafness) that functionally limits your being employed, or

· A physical or mental impairment (including, but not limited to, a sight or hearing impairment) that substantially limits one or more of your major life activities,

such as performing manual tasks, walking, speaking, breathing, learning, or working.

Impairment-related expenses defined. Impairment-related expenses are those ordinary and necessary business expenses that are:

· Necessary for you to do your work satisfactorily,

· For goods and services not required or used, other than incidentally, in your personal activities, and

· Not specifically covered under other income tax laws.

Related posts:

1. It’s Almost Tax Time – Getting Your Financial Records in Order.
2. Choosing Medical Insurance Coverage
3. ADHD Primer From National Institute of Mental Health

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Written by Harold Robert Meyer, MBA, SCAC and
Susan Karyn Lasky, MA, SCAC

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Related posts:

1. Extended time improves reading comprehension test scores for adolescents with ADHD
2. Edward (Ned) Hallowell, M.D. on ADHD
3. How to Make the School System Work for Your Child by Harold R. Meyer

ADD in the Workplace

Excerpts from a presentation by Susan Karyn Lasky on ADHD in the Workplace, given before a Labor-Industry Council’s National Conference on Disability in the Workplace.

Research studies (Hagner, Rogen & Murphy, 1992) have shown that as many as 90% of persons fired from businesses, labor unions and educational institutions, were discharged due to poor attitude, inappropriate behavior and difficulties with interpersonal relationships; not due to deficient job skills.

Myth: “Reasonable Accommodations are Expensive”

Accommodations are not necessarily expensive.  In fact, studies show show that almost one-third of all accommodations cost nothing.

According to a study by the Bank of America, the average costs for accommodations break down as follows:

28%   cost $0

20%   between $1- $50

20%   between $51 – $500

20%   between $501 – $1000

11%   between $1,000 – $5000

1%    more than $5000

And, as we improve our understanding of what types of accommodations are needed and effective for employees with ADHD, we’re finding that more accommodations cost nothing!  In fact, many “accommodations” are simply a question of instituting better management practices! These include putting things in writing (or allowing tape recording of instructions), clear prioritization of projects, deadlines and budgets, progress-checks (accountability), arranging “distraction-free” work periods, etc.  Some assistive aids (computers, voice technology, ‘white noise’ machines) come at a price, but the savings gained by more productive time make them well worth the cost. It is wonderful to see that more and more companies are recognizing the special needs of employees with attentional and learning differences, and hiring ADD-specialists to educate staff and employees!

Rights In The Workplace: Adults with ADHD are entitled to appropriate accommodations (help).  However, this applies only if:

The employer has 15 or more employees (fewer in NY).

The employee is otherwise qualified to successfully fulfill the main requirements of the job.

The employee has disclosed the disability to his or her employer and can prove an actual diagnosis.

The requested accommodation is reasonable, tied to the disability and employment related.

What does this mean?  Take a medium-sized company with a super salesperson who more than meets quota, but who is on probation for failure to adequately complete call and expense reports.  The major job function is sales, and no one disputes the salesperson’s ability to generate sales.  The problem area (dysfunction) is administrative; preparing and submitting reports on a timely basis.

First, the salesperson should try to get some help in these areas by simply requesting it (without the need to “reveal” the ADHD).  If that fails, the next step is to inform his (or her) superior and/or the human resource department that he has a diagnosis of ADHD.  At the same time, he should point out that, while ADHD is one factor that contributes to his excellent sales ability, the downside is some difficulty with paperwork.

Note: The idea is to present ADHD in a positive way and to explain that failure to comply with requirements isn’t due to lack of interest, willfulness, etc., but to a disability that doesn’t affect his ability to do the primary job, and that this problem can be overcome with appropriate intervention.

In this case, the company would save money and keep an excellent salesperson by assigning an administrative person to sit with the salesperson for two hours a week to review and process expense accounts and other reports.  In addition, instead of having to stop selling and make the uncomfortable transition to updating sales reports (which also makes re-entering the “sales” mode more difficult), the salesperson can be given a tape recorder to dictate the information.  This can then be keyboarded by the administrative person or entered into a computer via voice recognition software.  Both of these strategies, assigning help and permitting use of  technological tools, are in keeping with appropriate accommodations.

The good news is that employers are beginning to recognize the need to become more aware of ADHD in the workplace, and the unique contributions these employees can make to their organization – despite their challenges!

Susan Karyn Lasky, MA, SCAC, is a Productivity Coach, Senior Certified ADHD Coach and Professional Organizer (Susan@SusanLasky.com). These excerpts are from her presentation on ADHD in the Workplace, given before a Labor-Industry Council’s National Conference on Disability in the Workplace.  Following the Conference, several human resource management publications followed up with articles about ADHD, and accommodating the needs of employees.

Related posts:

1. Workplace Accommodations: Low Cost, High Impact
2. Six Ways for Fathers with ADD to Nurture and Enjoy Their ADD Teens.

Help for attention-deficit adults looking to find, hire, and work with an ADHD coach—and what you should expect when you do.

by Laura Flynn McCarthy

You’re an adult with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) and you need to make a change.

You want to switch jobs or stop chronic disorganization and lateness, which have been hurting your marriage. Or perhaps your child needs help with completing the piles of homework he gets, now that he’s in middle school. The solution, in each case, may be to team up with an ADHD coach.

The key, of course, is finding the right one. “You need to be an educated consumer,” says Harold Meyer, co-founder of Children and Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD), of New York City, and The A.D.D. Resource Center.

“You should know what you want to change in your life and whether a particular coach can help you make the change.” While a prospective ADD coach should have experience working with clients and knowledge of the condition, the chemistry between the two of you determines success.

“One coach might have the ability to motivate you, while another will leave you frustrated,” says Meyer.

“Many clients walk into a coach’s office expecting one thing and getting another,” says Dee Crane, S.C.A.C., A.C.C., president of the Institute for the Advancement of AD/HD Coaching (IAAC).

“Remember that ADHD coaches aren’t therapists, medical experts, or mentors. They help you achieve specific goals. If you only want to talk about how your parents didn’t understand you, a psychiatrist is a better bet.”

A big mistake clients sometimes make is hiring a coach who doesn’t specialize in ADHD. “They don’t realize that strategies that work for clients without ADD often don’t work for people with ADHD, whose brains are wired differently,” says ADHD coach Michele Novotni, Ph.D., S.C.A.C., coauthor of Adult AD/HD (Pinon Press).

It is easy to check a coach’s credentials. A new certification program for ADHD coaches screens professionals for training and experience. Several organizations that certify life coaches have many members who specialize in working with ADD (see sidebar).

One caveat before you start the search: “Just because a coach is a graduate of a top program—or has multiple certifications—doesn’t guarantee that he can help you,” says Meyer. “Experience and innate ability are more important than formal training and diplomas.”

Go to the Sources

A good starting point for finding a coach is your local chapter of CHADD, your doctor, or your psychologist. They can identify candidates in your area or long-distance coaches, whom you can work with on the phone. Another option is to log onto the websites of organizations that certify or list coaches.

The IAAC (adhdcoachinstitute.org) is the only group that certifies coaches specifically in ADHD. Their members have spent a minimum of two years and at least 500 hours working with clients with ADHD. The certification process is new, and there are roughly 75 coaches who are IAAC-certified.

The International Coach Federation (ICF; coachfederation.org) certifies life coaches, but not specifically those trained in ADHD. You can search its site to find professionals in your area who have experience and training working with ADDers. The ADHD Coaches Organization (ACO; adhdcoaches.org) has a coach referral service. It lists 150 life coaches who have additional training in ADHD.
Narrow Your Options

After you have made a short list of potential coaches — three is a good start — figure out which one is the best fit for you. Look for a coach who is qualified and has worked extensively on the problems you want to address, and whose schedule works with yours. Most important, find someone with whom you click.

You can interview candidates on the phone or in person. In most cases, the initial interview is free. “Coaches are willing to give 15 or 30 minutes of their time for you to ask questions, and see if the fit is right,” says Sarah D. Wright, president of the ACO. If a coach is unwilling to make interview time, cross him off your list.

Questions to Ask During the Interview:

1. Do you work with clients who have problems like mine?

Before you call or visit with a coach, write down what you want to tackle, suggests Nancy Ratey, Ed.M., M.C.C., S.C.A.C., strategic life coach specializing in ADHD. “If you cram to make deadlines, think of the first time that happened, and describe it to the coach.” You may choose to work with a coach on a short-term, goal-oriented basis (completing a stalled project or switching jobs), to help you achieve long-term goals (improving finances or a relationship), or to address pervasive issues (chronic disorganization).

2. Do you specialize in working with a parent, child, single adult, or business executive?

Be specific about what you’re looking for. If you need a coach for your child, ask about relevant experience. If you’re a budding entrepreneur who wants to launch a business, look for a coach who has worked with clients who have started their own businesses. One of Wright’s specialties, for instance, is working with college sophomores who struggled through their freshman year.

3. Can you refer me to another coach?

If a coach doesn’t specialize in what you want to address, ask if she can refer you to one who does. “ADHD coaches are a small community, and most of them know the specialties of fellow practitioners,” says Novotni.

After meeting with you, a prospective coach may suggest that you work with a therapist or psychologist, instead. Some clients have medical or psychological problems, such as major depression, anxiety disorders, or a deep-rooted fear of success, that should be managed by a mental-health professional before getting involved in coaching. Offering medical or pharmacological advice to clients is against the code of ethics for coaching.

4. Do you coach in person or over the telephone?

Coaching by phone can be done anywhere and at almost any time. “If there isn’t a coach in your hometown, you can find a capable coach hundreds of miles away,” says Wright.

“Telephone coaching is time-effective — you don’t have to drive to an office and wait — and it’s discreet. If you don’t want your colleagues to know about your ADD, you can talk with a coach on your cell phone in your car during lunch, and go back to your office when the session is over.”

If you like the dynamic of being in a group, some coaches work with several clients on the phone at once. Telephone coaching isn’t for everyone. Some ADDers are visual processors, who require face-to-face contact with their coach to focus on practical strategies. For them, in-person coaching, or “meeting” with a professional via a webcam or videophone, may be best.

5. How long are the sessions?

Some coaches meet or talk on the phone with a client for an hour once a week. This may be too long for those children and adults who can’t focus for an extended period. Many coaches and clients find that half-hour sessions, followed by one or two quick “check-in” phone calls, are ideal.

If you need daily reinforcement, some coaches will work with you via e-mail, in addition to seeing you once a week. “I have clients who e-mail me their to-do lists or who tell me that they’re going to exercise,” says Ratey. “If exercise is their goal, they want to be accountable to me and follow through, instead of getting sidetracked by re-grouting the shower or brushing the dog’s teeth. I will often answer, ‘Great! E-mail me when you get back, and let me know that you’ve finished your exercise session.’”

6. Do you have personal experience with ADD?

“Many ADD coaches have ADD themselves or have a close family member who has it,” says Wright. “This may give them a deeper understanding of the issues.” An ADD coach’s main responsibility is to help clients better understand the effects of ADD.

ADDers tend to focus on the negative — “Oh, I screwed up again” or “Somebody is mad at me.” “It’s similar to having a broken arm and feeling like you’re just your broken arm,” explains Wright.

“You’ve got two good legs, another good arm—there’s much more to you than that broken arm. An ADD coach should help you focus on your successes while you learn from your mistakes.” A coach should never judge or condemn you for making mistakes. If he does, find another.

“There are some bad coaches who have been doing it for a long time, and there are some good coaches who have been doing it for a short time,” says Ratey. “Before I coach anyone, I spend a full hour with them, on the phone, to make sure that it’s a good match. I want to be sure that I can help the person on the other end of the line.” If you aren’t sure about a coach after your interview, you may want to pay for a trial coaching session before making a longer commitment.

Sign on the Dotted Line

Once you’ve chosen a coach, you usually have to sign an agreement or contract. “Many coaches use three-month agreements, and some ask for full payment up front,” says Novotni. “There is good reason for this. Around the fourth or fifth week, most clients lose interest in the process.

If they commit to three months, they tend to stick with it, and they usually make progress during that time.” After three months, most coaches require month-long agreements. As with other professional services, missed sessions or cancellations, without 24-hour notice, will incur a standard session charge.

Because life coaching—especially ADHD life coaching—is a relatively new field, there aren’t statistics on the average cost for a session. Costs are comparable to therapy, say some experts, and can range from pro bono sessions up to $1,500 a month, with the average falling between $300 and $600 a month.

Most coaches take credit cards, but rarely use a sliding scale for fees. Insurance plans don’t typically cover coaching, but there may be other ways to defray the expense.

Says Novotni: “Ask your human resources department about possibly picking up the cost. I’ve been hired by employers to coach employees who are having trouble in the workplace.” Dee Crane has worked with clients who pay through their flexible spending accounts offered by their employers.

Another option is to ask your physician to write a prescription for coaching, the cost of which may be written off on your taxes.

Getting Started

After you’ve signed and returned the agreement, you and the coach will schedule your first session—on the telephone, by webcam, or in person. Expect the first meeting—called an “intake” or “foundation” session—to take longer (between one and two hours) than the ones that will follow because the coach will want to get to know you.

She will ask, What strategies are working for you? What do you think are your biggest problems? What would you like to accomplish? Why do you think you need a coach?

During the first session, tell her specifically what issue you want to address, and, along with the coach, plot the steps to achieve this. The coach will assign you homework, and subsequent sessions will often begin with a review of the assignment.

Says Wright: “Coaches may ask, ‘What did you get done that you planned to get done? What didn’t you get done? Did anything come up that derailed you, or presented a major problem? What strategies might we try to sidestep the problem? Is there anything in particular you’d like to work on today?’”

Doing homework is critical to making progress. “Coaching is a partnership, but the client is in charge,” says Novotni. “Coaches are not there to nag. We’re there for support, to ask questions that get people thinking about whether certain strategies work.” If they don’t work, it’s the coach’s job to suggest others.

Clients should be clear about the kind of support they want—having the coach call or e-mail them between sessions to troubleshoot, or to reserve discussion of problems for the next session.

A coach should cheer your successes and tweak those strategies that didn’t work. “Sometimes the same goals will remain on the to-do list for weeks,” says Wright. “In such cases, the coach might say, ‘Why isn’t this one moving? Is it not that important to you? What’s getting in the way?’ The coach monitors your progress and fine-tunes strategies until you get results.” If you feel that the strategies she’s suggesting aren’t working, ask her to come up with new ones.

Making Progress—Or Not

You should see small improvements—whether in controlling clutter on your desk or your child’s finishing his homework in a tough subject a little quicker—after the first session.

Improvement should continue during the first month, but clients’ interest and resolve often lag around the fifth week. “This is a pattern that many clients experience,” says Wright. “Change doesn’t seem as exciting after the first month. I warn my clients that this will happen, and that this doesn’t mean they’re not succeeding.”

But what if you don’t make progress—or you stop clicking with the coach? A good coach, say experts, will probably notice the problem before you do, and will gladly discuss how to proceed. The coaching relationship is most effective when you honestly feel that a coach has your best interest at heart and sees you as more than a paycheck. If, however, your coach has exhausted her strategies and you are no closer to achieving your goal, find another professional.

“I worked with a woman for three months on her goal of succeeding in her job,” says Novotni. “After trying several strategies, it felt as if we were putting a square peg into a round hole. So she changed goals—she wanted a new job that suited her strengths—and now she’s elated.”

The coach should give you a plan at each session, and provide perspective on mistakes you may have made. “Sometimes clients come in feeling demoralized, and they say, ‘I had a bad week. It didn’t work. I said something stupid,’” says Wright.

“A good coach should put those feelings in perspective—called ‘normalizing’ and ‘endorsing’—by focusing on what you did accomplish.” It’s important to remember that if a coach bad-mouths you at any point, you need to call him on it or find a new coach.

Crane and other coaching experts say that a good gauge of progress is when you start solving problems that used to overwhelm you. “The coach isn’t there to fix you, because you’re not broken. She’s there to empower you to achieve your goals,” says Crane.

Winding Down

Sessions are usually weekly for the first three to six months. When you and the coach finally identify the strategies for achieving your goals, sessions are often cut back to bi-weekly or even monthly.

In most cases, coaching isn’t a long-term commitment. Once you’ve internalized the strategies, regular sessions become unnecessary, although most coaches are willing to be called for “tune-ups.” As new life stages or new challenges crop up, a client might come back and say, “Hey, my first child is getting married. I’m not sure how to meet the challenges.” Says Crane, “I’ve coached some clients for six or seven years, seeing them every six months.

Coaching becomes a tool, a resource. The real goal of coaching is to change how you perceive yourself and, ultimately, teach you how to coach yourself. As a client, you should expect nothing less.”

Related posts:

1. Questions to Ask a Prospective Coach
2. Why You Need A Credentialed ADHD Coach
3. What’s in an ADHD Coaching Credential?

Here is What Others Have To Say:

Kate Kelly, Founder, The ADDed Dimension coaching group. Co-author of You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?

Harold is one of the pioneers in the field of adult ADHD. His expertise and personal integrity are of the highest order. I would give him an unqualified recommendation as a top tier ADHD coach. Coaching is not just a profession for Harold – he puts his heart and soul into the work.

January 28, 2009

Harold has been an invaluable resource to me as I research for my work on the topics of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder in both children and adults. I am a documentary filmmaker and the information the Harold has provided for me was superb. The films are very successful and I would most definitely say that Harold has played a large role. I highly endorse his work and expertise.

Sincerely,
Karen O’Donnell
Director/Producer Wordshop Productions Inc.
www.wordshopproductions.com

Vatsal Thakkar, M.D. , Principal , Solstice Psychiatric Consulting, P.C.

January 16, 2009

Harold Meyer is a tireless advocate for people with ADHD. As the founder and Executive Director of both the NYC chapter of CHADD and The A.D.D. Resource Center, he continues to make a difference in the lives of countless individuals. Hal has an extensive background in the business world, and this experience shines through in his work today. He provides top-notch professional coaching to adults with ADHD, maintains one of the most comprehensive resource websites on ADHD, and sends out a frequent newsletter that has actually informed my practice as a psychiatrist.

Frank Coppola , President, Executive Director , Edutainment, Inc.

January 5, 2009

Harold is one of the leading experts in the field of ADD. If you are a parent of a child with ADD, he is the person to contact. He heads up The ADD Resource Center as well as CHADD in NY. I recommend him highly.

January 5, 2009

Harold has helped many people, especially teenagers, with an ADD challenge. I value his integrity and his passion for the wonderful work that he does.

Katherine Samon hired Harold as a Career Coach in 2004  and hired Harold more than once.

January 5, 2009

Hal is one of the most knowledgeable, intelligent, and effective people I know on the subject of ADHD and attendant issues for children and adults. He understands the diagnoses, their impact, knows the most effective experts in the fields, and is touch with those experts and the clients he refers, further expanding his range. Hal is insightful, easily grasping the subject– seeing big picture as well as the near view, the pin points, and the steps to get to an effective goal. His manner is personable while professional and efficient, stays with you in the game until complete, with noteworthy follow-up.

Top qualities: Personable , Expert , High Integrity

Kerin Adams , coach , ReachBeyondADD

January 3, 2009

Hal Meyer is both a competent and very caring professional in ADD whom I have known and worked with for years. He has had years of experience as a professional coach and pays close attention to the latest information regarding ADD, so that he can be of maximum help to others. He is a board member of IAAC(an institute for the advancement of ADHD coaching also is the head of the C.H.A.D.D. for NYC. I have the utmost respect for him not only as a colleague but as a close friend. He is honest, forthcoming, and sincere in his desire to help others which he often has and does.

Kerin B. Adams certified coach specializing in AD/HD, speaker, author of AD/HD Success! Solutions to Boosting Self-Esteem The Diary Method Ages 7-17 and founder of www.ReachBeyondADD.com

January 3, 2009

Hal is a genius, and knows his work and field inside out…

January 3, 2009

I have known Harold and his organisation for at least 8 years. During this time he has acted as a confidential source for advice and guidance for the most appropriate route of support for ADHD issues in both adults and children. I have been privileged to know Harold personally and can attest to his absolute dedication to this area of expertise and totally admire and respect his opinions and guidance. I would have no hesitation in recommending him to all who seeks help. I know that if he feels he cannot help then he will be able to point people in the appropriate direction.

November 24, 2008

Harold is an extremely knowledgeable man in his field and truly dedicated to his work. He has over the years consistently provided a first rate service to personal clients and to an international community either working with or living with ADHD. We regularly refer people to The ADD Resource Center.

M.G.

My coach helped me find the courage to let goof the thinking that was limiting my options, and of the clutter that was limiting my life.

Related posts:

1. How to Make the School System Work for Your Child by Harold R. Meyer
2. Here is What Others Have to Say About Us.

Hear this audio presentation to learn how to make the school system work for you child

Related posts:

1. How to Advocate in the Educational System
2. Finding the Right School for Your Child With ADHD
3. The ADD/ADHD Child & School – Not Always a Good Match

Some of these questions are really important, while others may be important to only certain people, or when there are specific needs. Your goal, as an “educated consumer” is to know what you want and to get the best input as to whether the coach you are speaking with is a good match for your needs.

A good coach needs certain skills, but most important is the chemistry between you and your coach. You want a coach who can understand you, your history and background (although they need not be an expert in your field or have had a similar history themselves). You want a coach who can help you to define and achieve your goals, who will inspire you and hold you accountable.

A coach need not have a background in counseling. After all, a coach is not supposed to be your therapist. In fact, you might benefit from having a coach who has some experience in the industry or type of work that you do. A coach may be a graduate of a coaching program, but that is not a guarantee that they can help you. Experience and innate ability are often more important than training. Most important is whether you can trust and respect your coach.

Here are some questions you may want to ask when interviewing prospective coaches. Decide which questions are most important to you and prepare a list of them in advance of your call/email contact.

Coaching Experience

• How long have you been a coach?
• What is your knowledge of and experience with ADD/ADHD?
• What kind of training do you have?
• What is your background?
• What associations do you belong to?
• What other experience do you bring to coaching?
• Approximately how many people have you coached?
• How many of your clients have ADD/ADHD? Primarily inattentive? Primarily hyperactive/impulsive? Have you worked with many non-ADD clients with major disorganizational problems?
• Have you worked with clients with other psychological or medical problems affecting their ability to function?
• How many are you working with currently?
• On the average, how long do clients see you for coaching?
• Do you have personal experience with ADD/ADHD, chronic disorganization, or …?

Coaching Style

• What is your basic approach to coaching? (your philosophy, level of contact, etc.)
• What is your coaching style (extremely gentle, supportive, willing to give a “kick in the pants,” etc.)
• What do you hope to accomplish when you work with a client?
• Are you a sole practitioner or do you work with other coaches or professionals?
• Why did you decide to become an ADD Coach?
• Do you have certain standard interventions you recommend, such as a particular way of doing things, or using a dayplanner, etc.?

Areas of Expertise

• Are your clients primarily male or female?
• What is the primary age group you work with?
• Are you a specialist or a generalist? What type of individuals do you primarily work with? (entrepreneurs, executives, artists, people changing jobs, students, etc.)
• Do you work with students? (Or whatever major defining category is important to you.)
• What type of person do you work best with?
• What are your areas of expertise? (relationships, career development, organization, time management, educational issues, small businesses, etc.)
• What is your knowledge of medication? Do you believe medication is/isn’t critical in treatment?
• Do you do home and/or office organization/paper management/clutter control?
• What is the primary source of your new clients? (referrals, listings, ads, etc.)

Coaching Process

• Do you work primarily by: Phone? In-person at your office, my office, my home? E-mail or fax?
• Will you work with someone you never meet in person?
• Do you give “homework assignments”?
• How often do you work with a client?
• What hours are you available? Do you work evenings? Weekends?
• How long are your coaching sessions? (frequent short phone/email contacts or weekly/bimonthly hourly sessions, etc.)
• Are there required or optional check-ins between sessions?
• How do you monitor your clients’ progress?
• How far in advance would I need to make an appointment?
• Do you work/confer with my doctor/therapist/etc.?
• Do you refer other specialists? (organizers, career counselors, image consultants, learning specialists, therapists, etc.)

Fees

• How much do you charge for your services?
• Do you offer a sliding scale? (If appropriate.)
• Do fees vary according to the type of service? (Does a coaching session by phone cost the same as one that is in-person? If you come to my home/office is it the same cost as a session in your office?)
• How does payment work: In advance, at time of service, billing?
• Do you accept checks? Credit cards?
• What is your policy if I have to cancel an appointment?

Click here to have a coach contact you.

Written by Harold Robert Meyer and Susan Karyn Lasky

Related posts:

1. Six Questions to Ask an ADHD Coach
2. Why You Need A Credentialed ADHD Coach
3. What’s in an ADHD Coaching Credential?

Often, the way you think about something is based on history and habit. The words you use can describe the same thing in either a positive or negative manner. When you choose your words, you also communicate an attitude.

Think carefully about how you interact with your children.  Rethink how you interpret a situation or comment:  Praise whatever you honestly can, or the child will not believe/value your comments, not grow from them. Following is a list of areas to that require structure and consistency when dealing with your children:

• Teach the Skills of Anger Management
• Strive for Order & Keep Things Calm
• Have a Positive Attitude
• Maintain a Close Watch
• Work for Success
• Be a Detective
• Rules – Consequences – Rewards
• The Home-School-Child Care Connection
• Promote a Positive Attitude in Your Family

Get the rest of the details and how to make these changes in an eleven page ebook of tips for parents of children with ADD, ADHD and related disorders.  Including information on structure, order, consistency, anger management, how to talk to your child, and in general, working towards success for you child.

• Buy this article for just $3.50 or
• for $9.74 get it along with as part of a 34 -page of practical advice for parenting children with ADHD: Managing ADHD at Home or
• for $17.50 you can get 78 pages of the best articles about managing ADHD in your children at home and at school:  Managing ADHD at Home and School

Related posts:

1. Nurturing Self Esteem In Children
2. ADD and the Dysfunctional Family
3. How to Advocate in the Educational System