Why do you lie to your ADHD coach or doctor?

​​Harold Robert Meyer | The ADD Resource Center

haroldmeyer@addrc.org     http://www.addrc.org/  

Reviewed 0​3/​05/2026 – Published 0​3/11/2026

​​Listen to understand, not just to respond

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Most of us do it — not out of malice, but out of self-protection.

Research shows that a significant share of patients withhold important information from their healthcare providers. The most common reason? Embarrassment. The fear of being judged and not wanting the person who’s supposed to help you to think less of you.

For people with ADHD, this is especially common — and especially costly.

Years of negative feedback, forgetfulness that gets misread as carelessness, and a neurologically-rooted sensitivity to criticism (known as Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, or RSD*) can make the doctor’s office feel like a judgment zone. So we soften the truth. We leave out the part about the medication we stopped taking, the goals we didn’t follow through on, the symptoms we’ve been managing silently for months.

The problem? Your care team can only help you with what you actually tell them.

The good news: honesty is a skill that can be built. And the right care team will meet your honesty with curiosity — not criticism.

If this resonates, we’ve written more about it at the ADD Resource Center: https://www.addrc.org

Most of us do it — not out of malice, but out of self-protection.

Research shows that a significant share of patients withhold important information from their healthcare providers. The most common reason? Embarrassment. The fear of being judged. Not wanting the person who’s supposed to help you to think less of you.

For people with ADHD, this is especially common — and especially costly.

Years of negative feedback, forgetfulness that gets misread as carelessness, and a neurologically-rooted sensitivity to criticism (known as Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, or RSD*) can make the doctor’s office feel like a judgment zone. So we soften the truth. We leave out the part about the medication we stopped taking, the goals we didn’t follow through on, the symptoms we’ve been managing silently for months.

The problem? Your care team can only help you with what you actually tell them.

The good news: honesty is a skill that can be built. And the right care team will meet your honesty with curiosity — not criticism.

If this resonates, we’ve written more about it at the ADD Resource Center: https://www.addrc.org

About the Author

Harold Meyer established The A.D.D. Resource Center in 1993 to provide ADHD education, advocacy, and support. He co-founded CHADD of New York, served as CHADD’s national treasurer, and was president of the Institute for the Advancement of ADHD Coaching. A writer and international speaker on ADHD, he has presented at the American Psychiatric Association and CHADD National annual meetings, led school boards and task forces, conducted workshops for educators, and contributed to early online ADHD forums.  

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Disclaimers

Content is for educational purposes only and should not replace professional advice. While we strive for accuracy, errors may occur. Some content may be AI-generated; readers should verify information independently.

*Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is recognized by many healthcare providers but is not officially listed in the DSM, which may affect diagnosis and treatment approaches.

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