How do you respond when you have told your 8-year-old child that it is not right to lie, when they say, “Everybody does it. Why can’t I?
Harold Robert Meyer | The ADD Resource Center 08/11/2025
Listen to understand, rather than to reply.
First, you can acknowledge their observation without accepting their conclusion: “You’re right that some people do lie sometimes. What do you think happens when people lie?” This opens up a conversation about consequences rather than just rules.
You might also help them think through the “everybody” claim: “Can you think of people who try really hard to be honest?” Most kids can think of someone they trust – a teacher, grandparent, or friend – which helps them see that not literally everyone lies.
The “why” question is really asking about fairness and your family’s values. You could explain it like: “In our family, we choose to be honest because we want people to trust us and because it helps us feel good about ourselves. Even when it’s hard.”
Sometimes it helps to distinguish between little social lies (“Your haircut looks nice!”) and lies that could hurt someone or get them out of trouble. Eight-year-olds are old enough to start understanding these nuances.
The key is to stay curious about their thinking rather than shutting down the conversation. They’re genuinely trying to figure out how the world works, and these discussions help build their moral reasoning skills.
Disclaimer: Our content is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. While we strive for accuracy, errors or omissions may occur. Content may be generated with artificial intelligence tools, which can produce inaccuracies. Readers are encouraged to verify information independently.
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The ADD Resource Center, Inc.
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