Categories: Teens

Six Ways for Fathers with ADD/ADHD to Nurture and Enjoy Their ADD Teens

Dads with ADHD often have stormy relationships with their  teenage sons.

Some feel guilty about passing the condition on to their child; oth­ers find it painful to watch him struggle with the same problems they had as a teen. Here are some strategies to resolve conflicts with your ADD son, and be his role model.

    1. Be aware. Accept the fact that you are angry, frustrated, and fearful. So is your teen—although his bravado may hide it. You can’t help your child through tough times if you can’t control your emotions. If you can’t, seek the help of a doctor or therapist.
    2. Be honest and positive. Admit to your son that having ADHD is not easy, that it takes a lot of effort to stay on track. Tell him about some of the challenges you have faced, and the ways you have succeeded. Use humor to deflect anxiety. Always reinforce your son’s strengths
    3. Practice healthy confrontation. If you are about to lose your temper, use these techniques:
      • Avoid accusation—focus on solu­tions to the problem and teach your teen to find alternatives that work.
      • Focus on the behavior—make it clear that your son is not the sum of his behaviors, and that he, within reason, can control them.
      • If you or your son starts to shout, break the pattern by speaking softly.
    4. Stick to your word. It isn’t easy for people with ADHD to remain disciplined enough to mete out consequences. Make this a priority. If you told your son he must be home by 10 or he will lose his car privileges, and he comes home at 11, don’t get angry. Take away his car privileges. This may be inconvenient—you may have to drive him to his tutoring ses­sions—but do it anyway. If you don’t, your son will miss out on learning to equate his actions with consequences and on seeing that a person with ADHD can demonstrate responsible behavior.
    5. Avoid the guilt trap. You may have chal­lenges like those of your son, but he is his own person. ADD is an explanation of behav­iors, not an excuse for them. Your own fail­ures don’t mean you shouldn’t have reason­able expectations for him.
    6. Humor Him a Little
      Parents who have a sense of humor during tense, stressful situations may make their teen feel more accepted, less anxious, and better able to regulate his emotions, say researchers.
      • Accept your imperfections. It is difficult enough to deal with your own ADHD, let alone your teen’s. Don’t let the perception that you’ve failed as a parent, because of your son’s challenges, affect your interactions with him. You are a role model for your son, imperfections and all.

To contact the author:


We would love to hear from you! Please fill out this form and we will get in touch with you shortly.

"*" indicates required fields

Harold Robert Meyer MBA SCAC and Susan Karyn Lasky MA SCAC

Recent Posts

Can teens with ADHD tell when they are on medication?

Can teens with ADHD tell when they are on medication?

5 days ago

in Children and Teens

Does your child go through extreme changes in mood and behavior? Does your child get…

4 weeks ago

Simulated driving program reduces crash risk for teens with ADHD in small study

A program that combines computer-based and driving simulator training may reduce the proportion of crashes…

2 months ago

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a type of depression with a recurring seasonal pattern, with…

2 months ago


Stress is a physical and emotional reaction that people experience as they encounter challenges in…

2 months ago

To Reward or Not to Reward?

Is it better to reward or not to reward?

3 months ago