What to Say to Your Young Child with ADHD After a 10-Day School Suspension

(English and Farsi)

Harold Robert Meyer and The ADD Resource Center                             04/02/2025 

Executive Summary

When addressing your child about their suspension, it’s essential to balance empathy, accountability, and proactive problem-solving. Acknowledge their feelings, explain the consequences of their actions, and work together to develop strategies for improvement. This approach fosters trust, emotional growth, and behavior management while ensuring your child feels supported despite the challenges they face.

Why This Matters

Children with ADHD often struggle with impulsivity and emotional regulation, which can lead to disciplinary actions like suspensions. Addressing the issue thoughtfully helps your child understand the consequences of their actions without damaging their self-esteem. It also provides an opportunity to teach coping mechanisms and reinforce that they are loved and supported. This conversation can set the stage for long-term behavioral improvements and better collaboration with educators.

Key Findings

• Empathy builds trust: Children with ADHD may already feel frustrated or ashamed. A compassionate approach helps them open up.
• Accountability is crucial: Explain why their behavior led to suspension while avoiding blame.
• Proactive strategies help: Collaborate on solutions like behavior plans or therapy to prevent future incidents.
• Educational rights matter: Schools must provide appropriate accommodations under IEPs or 504 Plans for children with ADHD.

How to Approach the Conversation

1. Start with Empathy

• Sit down in a calm environment and say something like:
  “I know this has been a tough time for you. It’s okay to feel upset or confused about what happened.”
• Validate their emotions: “I understand that it’s hard to stay focused sometimes, and I’m here to help you figure this out.”

2. Explain the Suspension Clearly

• Use simple language: “You were suspended because [specific behavior] disrupted class or made others feel unsafe.”
• Avoid shaming: Focus on the behavior, not the child (e.g., “What you did was not okay,” rather than “You’re bad.”).

3. Encourage Reflection

• Ask open-ended questions: “Can you tell me what happened?” or “How were you feeling before that happened?”
• Help them identify triggers: “Do you think [specific situation] made it harder for you to stay calm?”

4. Focus on Solutions

• Brainstorm together: “What can we do next time so this doesn’t happen again?”
• Suggest strategies like breaks during class, using calming tools, or talking to a teacher when overwhelmed.

5. Reassure Them of Your Support

• Reinforce unconditional love: “I love you no matter what, and we’ll get through this together.”
• Emphasize teamwork: “We’re going to work with your teachers and doctor to help you succeed.”

Next Steps for Parents

1. Collaborate with the School: Request a meeting to review your child’s IEP or 504 Plan and ensure accommodations are being implemented effectively.
2. Seek Professional Guidance: Consult an ADHD specialist or therapist to adjust treatment plans if needed14.
3. Teach Coping Skills: Practice mindfulness, role-playing scenarios, or using visual reminders at home7.

By addressing this situation constructively, you can turn it into an opportunity for growth and strengthen your relationship with your child.

© Copyright 2025 The ADD Resource Center. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means without obtaining prior written permission from the publisher and/or the author.  

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