Okay, so your child/husband/wife/companion, etc. leaves for the day and you discover a number of things that were supposed to be done, but werenâ€™t (taking out the garbage, making the bed, etc.).Â Youâ€™re probably annoyed.Â Make that really annoyed.Â Especially if it happens frequently (and given the poor memory, distractibility, avoidance tendencies and lateness problems that many people with ADHD are prone to, it probably does happen with irritating frequency).
Later that day:Â He or she walks in the doorâ€¦ youâ€™re poised to complain (attack!).Â Justifiable, probably.Â Â Smart, no.Â Itâ€™s tough, but refrain from complaining the second he/she returns home.Â Make the arrival positive â€“ for both of you.Â Reinforce that youâ€™re actually pleased to see the person (hate the sin, love the sinner).Â You have every right to say how you feel about the missed chores, but save it for later (and then say it from your point of view, without attacking the offender â€“ â€œWhen you [fill in the blanks], I feel thatâ€¦.â€
Remind yourself that if a person believes theyâ€™ll be criticized every time they step foot in the door, theyâ€™ll soon dread returning home.
Susan Lasky is aÂ both Board Certified and Senior Certified ADHD Coach.
To contact the author:Â firstname.lastname@example.org
ADD and ADHD are used interchangeably for Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder.
Any information or suggestions in this article are solely the opinion of the author(s) and should not replace the advice of appropriate medical, legal, therapeutic, financial or other professionals. We do not test or endorse any product, link, author, individual or service listed within.
Â© 2006 â€“ 2015, by The ADD Resource Center. All Rights Reserved.
To viewÂ HUNDREDSÂ of articles and videos onÂ ADD/ADHD, go toÂ addrc.org