When Your Other Child Asks: “Why Does My Sibling Get All the Attention?”
The sibling who doesn’t have ADHD is watching—and forming conclusions. When you need to redirect your ADHD child for the third time during dinner, when you’re helping them find shoes that were “right there a second ago,” when bedtime takes an extra 45 minutes of regulation support—your other child is drawing conclusions about what this means. Without your guidance, they might conclude that their sibling is careless, isn’t trying hard enough, or gets away with things they wouldn’t be allowed to do. These misunderstandings can harden into lifelong stigma. But here’s the opportunity: this question is actually a gift. It means your neurotypical child trusts you enough to voice their confusion, and it gives you the chance to shape how they understand human difference. The language you use now will influence not just their relationship with their sibling, but how they think about disability, neurodiversity, and what it means to be “smart” or “capable” for the rest of their lives.
