Dear Mom and Dad
- Donâ€™t spoil me. I know quite well that I ought not to have all that I ask for. I am only testing you. Love is not measured by the number of gifts you bestow on me, but the way you listen to me, respect me and guide me as I grow up.
- Donâ€™t be afraid to be firm with me. I prefer it, it makes me feel secure. It helps me learn boundaries.
- Donâ€™t let me form bad habits. I have to rely on you to detect them in the early stages.
- Donâ€™t make me feel smaller than I am. It only makes me behave stupidly â€œbig.â€ My self-esteem is fragile.
- Donâ€™t try to discuss my behavior in the heat of the situation. For some reason my hearing is not very good then and my cooperation is even worse. Your objectivity ainâ€™t so hot then either.
- Donâ€™t correct me in front of others, if you can help it.
- Donâ€™t make me feel that my mistakes are sins. It upsets my sense of values. We all make mistakes. Help me learn from my mistakes, not suffer because of them.
- Donâ€™t protect me from consequences. I need to learn the painful way sometimes.
- Donâ€™t be too upset when I say â€œI hate you.â€ It isnâ€™t you I hate but your power to thwart me and the fear that I have lost control of the situation. I do know that words and actions can hurt more than physical abuse. We need to both try harder.
- Donâ€™t take too much notice of my whines and complaints. Sometimes they get me the attention that I need, but you and I both know Iâ€™d be better off getting attention in a â€œhealthierâ€ way.
- Donâ€™t ignore bad habits. They are danger signs that you and I have a problem.
- Donâ€™t nag. If you do I will have to protect myself by appearing deaf.
- Donâ€™t forget that I can not explain myself as well as I should like. This is why I am not always accurate. Many times I do things that I am not sure why I did it. They were not to hurt youâ€“ or me. I really did not know why.
- Donâ€™t put me off when I ask questions. If you do, you will find that I stop asking questions of you and will seek information elsewhere.
- Donâ€™t be inconsistent. That completely confuses me and makes me lose faith in you.
- Donâ€™t tell me my fears are silly. They are terrible and real and you can do much to reassure me if you understand.
- Donâ€™t ever suggest that you are perfect or infallible. It gives me too great a shock when I discover that you are neither. No one is perfect, nor always right or wrong. Thatâ€™s okay.
- Help me grow to know the difference between right and wrong.
- Donâ€™t ever think that it is beneath your dignity to apologize to me. An honest apology makes me feel surprisingly warm towards you.
- Donâ€™t use force with me. I respond more rapidly to being led than to force or to ultimatums..
- Donâ€™t forget how quickly I am growing up. It must be very difficult for you to keep pace with me, but please do try. Help me grow.
- Donâ€™t forget that I donâ€™t thrive without lots of love and understanding, but I donâ€™t need to tell you- do 11 Love is not smothering but providing examples.
- Donâ€™t make promises you cannot keep. Remember that I feel badly when promises are broken.
- I am sorry for the words I spoke and the promises I made that I could not keep.
- I am sorry for all the things I meant to do and I did not; for the things I tried to do and did not succeed in doing.
We must hold fast to our dreams
For if dreams die
Life is like a broken winged bird that cannot fly.
Hold fast to our dreams For when dreams go
Life is a barren field Frozen with snow.
- Please keep yourself fit and healthy. I need you!