Harold Robert Meyer and The ADD Resource Center 05/17/2025
Executive Summary
Navigating conversations with someone who has ADHD requires understanding that interruptions often stem from neurological differences rather than intentional rudeness. This article provides a comprehensive framework for addressing interruptions in a respectful, constructive manner that preserves the relationship while establishing healthier communication patterns. You can create more satisfying interactions for both parties through thoughtful preparation, compassionate delivery, and collaborative problem-solving.
Why This Matters
Communication breakdowns can damage relationships, reduce productivity, and create unnecessary tension. For individuals with ADHD, traditional communication expectations can feel impossible to meet, leading to shame and social withdrawal. By approaching the situation with empathy and knowledge, you can maintain meaningful connections while ensuring your own needs are met. Effective communication strategies benefit everyone involved and can strengthen rather than strain your relationship.
Key Findings
- Interruptions in people with ADHD typically stem from executive function differences, not disrespect
- Private, calm conversations focusing on specific behaviors rather than character are most effective
- Collaborative solution-finding yields better results than unilateral demands
- Regular check-ins and adjustments maintain communication improvements over time
- Small adaptations from both parties create significantly better interactions
Understanding the ADHD Communication Style
Before addressing interruptions, it’s important to recognize why they occur. According to Harold Meyer of the ADD Resource Center (ADDRC.org), individuals with ADHD often interrupt due to challenges with impulse control and working memory. Their brains process information differently, creating an urgency to express thoughts before they’re forgotten. What might feel like rudeness to you is actually their brain’s attempt to manage information overflow.
This understanding doesn’t mean you must accept communication patterns that don’t work for you, but it provides context that helps depersonalize the behavior.
Preparing for the Conversation
Timing Is Everything
Choose a moment when you’re both calm and not rushed. Avoid bringing up the topic:
- During or immediately after an interruption
- In public settings
- When either of you is hungry, tired, or stressed (I know, it seems we are all stressed, all the time)
- During important events or deadline-driven projects
A weekend morning or relaxed evening often works best, when medication is effective and external pressures are minimal.
Frame Your Mindset
Before speaking, remind yourself:
- This is about finding solutions, not assigning blame
- Their interruptions aren’t personal attacks
- You both deserve to feel heard and respected
- Small improvements should be celebrated
Having the Conversation
Begin by creating a safe atmosphere: “I’d like to talk with you about something that’s been on my mind. Is this a good time?”
Express Your Experience Using “I” Statements
Share your perspective without accusation: “I’ve noticed during our conversations that sometimes I don’t get to finish expressing my thoughts before the topic changes. When this happens, I feel like my input isn’t being fully heard.”
Acknowledge Their Perspective
Show understanding of their experience: “I know you have many thoughts that come quickly, and I really value your enthusiasm and insights. I also understand that waiting to speak can be especially challenging with ADHD.”
Focus on Specific Instances, Not Patterns
Instead of saying “You always interrupt me,” try: “Yesterday during our dinner conversation, I was explaining about my work project, and I noticed I didn’t get to finish my thought about the timeline.”
Suggest Practical Solutions Collaboratively
Offer ideas while inviting their input: “I wonder if we could try something that might help us both. Maybe you could jot down your thoughts when they come to you, so you won’t forget them. Or we could have a signal, like me raising my finger, to indicate I’m still completing my thought. What do you think would work for both of us?”
Express Appreciation and Importance
Reinforce the value of your relationship: “I really appreciate having this conversation with you. Our relationship is important to me, and I want our communication to work well for both of us.”
Practical Solutions to Consider
Visual Cues
Establish non-verbal signals that indicate:
- You’re still speaking
- You’re about to finish
- You’d like to hear more from them
Note-Taking Systems
Suggest they keep a small notepad or digital note app handy during conversations to capture thoughts without interrupting.
Conversation Tokens
For important discussions, consider using a physical object that passes between speakers, signaling whose turn it is to talk.
Regular Pauses
Build in natural breaks where you explicitly invite their thoughts: “That’s my take on the situation. What thoughts came up for you while I was speaking?”
Technology Assistance
Apps like “Time Timer” provide visual reminders of speaking time, creating more balanced conversations.
Following Up
Check In Regularly
After implementing new strategies, schedule brief check-ins: “How do you feel our new system is working? Is there anything we should adjust?”
Acknowledge Improvement
Recognize progress with specific examples: “I noticed during our discussion with friends yesterday that we had a really balanced conversation. I appreciated that.”
Be Patient With Setbacks
Understand that change takes time: “I know we’re both working on this. Some days will be better than others.”
When Professional Support Might Help
If communication challenges persist despite your best efforts, consider:
- Couples or family therapy with a professional experienced in ADHD
- Communication workshops specifically designed for ADHD relationships
- Individual therapy for either party to develop skills and process feelings
- ADHD Coaching, either individual or group coaching
Conclusion
Addressing interruptions with someone who has ADHD requires patience, understanding, and collaboration. By approaching the conversation with empathy rather than frustration, focusing on solutions rather than problems, and maintaining respect throughout, you create the foundation for more satisfying interactions. Remember that small improvements should be celebrated, and perfect communication isn’t the goal—better understanding is.
Resources
ADD Resource Center: https://www.addrc.org/adhd-and-communication-problems/
CHADD (Children and Adults with ADHD): https://chadd.org/for-adults/relationships/
ADDitude Magazine – Communication Strategies: https://www.additudemag.com/category/manage-adhd-life/relationships/
Disclaimer: Our content is intended solely for educational and informational purposes and should not be considered a substitute for professional advice. While we strive for accuracy, we cannot guarantee that errors or omissions are absent. Our content may utilize artificial intelligence tools, resulting in inaccurate or incomplete information. Users are encouraged to verify all information independently.
These articles will also be of help in dealing with ADHD.
The Effects of ADHD on Communication
- This article discusses how ADHD can affect speech, language, and pragmatic (social) communication. It mentions that children with ADHD are at risk for articulation disorders, differences in fluency and vocal quality, language processing differences, and difficulties with listening comprehension and pragmatic language.
- URL: https://www.addrc.org/effects-adhd-communication/
Understanding ADHD and Fear of Intimacy: Why We Push Loved Ones Away
- This article explores how emotional dysregulation and working memory impairments common in ADHD can impact intimate relationships and lead to misunderstandings and fear of intimacy. It touches upon how communication difficulties can arise from these challenges.
- URL: https://www.addrc.org/understanding-adhd-and-fear-of-intimacy-why-we-push-loved-ones-away/
© Copyright 2025 The ADD Resource Center. All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior written permission of the publisher and/or the copyright owner.
ADD Resource Center: Your Partner in Understanding and Growth
The ADD Resource Center has established a vibrant community of learners, professionals, and advocates committed to fostering positive change through evidence-based approaches and compassionate support.
Our Comprehensive Services
We offer personalized guidance for individuals, families, and organizations through integrated support systems tailored to their unique needs. Our expert team provides targeted behavioral intervention strategies and delivers specialized assistance to healthcare providers, educators, and industry professionals.
Stay Updated
Want to receive exclusive content, tips, and updates? Join my newsletter!
Subscribe to our newsletter
We respect your privacy. Unsubscribe anytime.
Share This Article
If you found this article helpful, please share it with others
Questions or Comments?
Have thoughts or questions about this article? We would love to hear from you!
Disclaimer
Our content is intended for educational and informational purposes only and should not be seen as a substitute for professional advice. While we strive for accuracy, we cannot guarantee that there are no errors or omissions. Additionally, our content may utilize artificial intelligence tools, which can result in inaccuracies or incomplete information. We encourage users to independently verify all information.y verify all information.