Harold Robert Meyer /The ADD Resource Center http://www.addrc.org/ 12/06/2023
Understanding ADHD is crucial for parents and caregivers to provide the necessary support for their children. ADHD is not a result of laziness or bad parenting; it is a legitimate medical condition that requires empathy and understanding. It is not your fault.
When a child has ADHD, their brain functions differently from those without the disorder. It is not their “fault,” either. They may struggle with paying attention in school, following instructions, or staying organized. It’s important to remember that ADHD does not reflect a child’s intelligence or capabilities. It is not your “fault” either. By understanding the unique challenges faced by children with ADHD, you can better support them in their journey.
Recognizing the challenges faced by children with ADHD
Children with ADHD face numerous challenges in their daily lives. They may struggle with maintaining focus and concentration, impacting their academic performance. Additionally, they may find it difficult to control their impulses, leading to impulsive behaviors and potential social difficulties. These challenges can have a significant impact on their self-esteem and overall well-being.
Parents and caregivers must recognize and acknowledge these challenges. By doing so, you can create a supportive environment that allows children with ADHD to thrive. It’s important to remember that children with ADHD are not intentionally disruptive or difficult; their behaviors are a result of their neurodevelopmental condition. You can provide support and encouragement by understanding and empathizing with their struggles.
The importance of support for children with ADHD
Support is critical when it comes to helping children with ADHD navigate their journey. Providing a nurturing and understanding environment can improve their overall well-being. Support can come from various sources, including parents, teachers, friends, and healthcare professionals. By working together, you can create a robust support system that empowers children with ADHD to reach their full potential.
Strategies for supporting your child’s ADHD journey at home
(Implementing some of these suggestions may be challenging due to your own ADHD. However, you may find it easier to implement them for your child while finding it impossible to do so for yourself.)
Support for children with ADHD begins at home. Here are some strategies to help you support your child’s ADHD journey:
1. Establish a structured routine:
Children with ADHD thrive in structured environments, even though they may rebel against it. Establish a consistent daily routine that includes set times for meals, homework, and bedtime. This can help them feel more organized and in control.
2. Break tasks into smaller steps:
Complex tasks can be overwhelming for children with ADHD. Break tasks down into smaller, more manageable steps. This can help them stay focused and complete tasks more effectively.
3. Use visual and other aids and reminders:
Visual aids, such as charts or checklists, can be helpful for children with ADHD in remembering tasks and staying organized. Use visual reminders to reinforce routines and expectations. Other aids, such as Amazon Alexa, are beneficial if they are used.
Nurturing self-esteem and self-confidence in children with ADHD
Children with ADHD often struggle with feelings of low self-esteem and self-confidence. It is important to encourage and support their emotional well-being. Here are some ways to promote self-esteem and self-confidence in children with ADHD:
1. Focus on strengths and talents:
Every child has unique strengths and talents. Encourage and celebrate your child’s accomplishments in areas where they excel. This can help boost their self-esteem and foster a positive self-image. However, do not make up or exaggerate “success,” as your child will see right through it and no longer believe when a real success is there and being acknowledged. If there is no success that you can see, celebrate the “effort” rather than the accomplishment.
2. Provide opportunities for success:
Give your child opportunities to succeed in various activities. Whether it’s a hobby, sports, or academics, providing opportunities for success can build their self-confidence and motivate them to overcome challenges. If your child loves karate one day but abruptly stops and wants to go to playing hockey the next, this is fine and age-appropriate for any child, with or without ADHD. What other time can they look for their passions, even if only fleeting ones?
3. Encourage open communication:
Create a safe space for your child to express their feelings and thoughts. Encourage open communication and actively listen to their concerns. This can help them feel valued and supported.
Before you “solve” their problem, try to get them to “solve” it independently. If their solution is unworkable or nonsensical, do not criticize it, but help them refine or improve their solution or develop a different one. Never dismiss their solution; your true aim is to help them think.
Building a supportive network for your child
Building a supportive network is essential for children with ADHD. Surrounding them with understanding and empathetic individuals can make a significant difference in their journey. Here are some ways to build a supportive network for your child:
1. Educate family and friends:
Educate your family and friends about ADHD to help them understand the challenges your child faces. This can foster a supportive and inclusive environment for your child.
2. Connect with other parents:
Join ADHD support groups or online communities where you can connect with other parents who have children with ADHD. Sharing experiences and learning from others can provide valuable support and guidance. I have learned much from the groups I have given.
I used to run an ADHD support group (CHADD); a new person would walk into the meeting for the first time and be shocked that the other parents looked as normal as they did and did not have two heads or a tattoo on their head that said “Failure” The same when I ran a school district in NYC.
3. Collaborate with teachers and school staff:
If appropriate to your situation, maintain open communication with your child’s teachers and school staff. Educate them about ADHD and work together to develop strategies that support your child’s learning and well-being.
Educating teachers and school staff about ADHD
Teachers and school staff play a crucial role in supporting children with ADHD. By educating them about ADHD, you can ensure they have the knowledge and tools to provide appropriate support. Here are some ways to educate teachers and school staff about ADHD:
1. Share resources and information:
Provide teachers and school staff with resources and information about ADHD. This can include articles, books, or workshops on understanding and supporting children with ADHD. Unfortunately, not everybody will welcome this. If you are giving them an article, consider underlining the salient sentences and writing a one-liner next to the underlined sentence. However, do not overwhelm them or provide them with reading assignments, even if tempted.
2. Collaborate on individualized plans:
Work with teachers and school staff to develop individualized plans addressing your child’s needs. This can include accommodations, modifications, or strategies to support their learning and behavior. Remember that the teacher is your friend, a collaborator in your child’s success in and out of school. Not the enemy. Innocent until proven guilty.
3. Offer to conduct training sessions:
If possible, offer training sessions on ADHD for teachers and school staff. This can help increase their understanding and confidence in supporting children with ADHD. Consider becoming a volunteer or member of the school board.
Seeking professional help for your child’s ADHD
While support at home and school is crucial, seeking professional help is equally important for children with ADHD. Consulting with healthcare professionals can provide valuable insights and interventions. Here are some steps to consider when seeking professional help:
1. Consult with a healthcare provider:
Schedule an appointment with a healthcare provider who specializes in ADHD. They can provide a comprehensive evaluation (if warranted) and recommend appropriate interventions, such as therapy or medication.
2. Explore coaching and therapy options:
Therapy can be beneficial for children with ADHD. Consider behavioral therapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy, ADHD coaching, or social skills training. These therapies can help children develop coping strategies and improve their overall well-being.
3. Evaluate medication options:
In some cases, medication may be recommended as part of the treatment plan for ADHD. Consult a healthcare provider to explore medication options and discuss potential benefits and risks.
Promoting a healthy lifestyle for children with ADHD
A healthy lifestyle is essential for children with ADHD. It can help manage symptoms and promote overall well-being. Here are some ways to promote a healthy lifestyle for children with ADHD:
1. Encourage physical activity:
Regular exercise can help children with ADHD release excess energy and improve focus. Encourage non-combat sports, art, dance, or outdoor play to promote physical well-being.
2. Provide a balanced diet:
A balanced diet is important for children with ADHD. Ensure they have nutritious meals that include fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins. Unless there are medical issues, do not ask the school to maintain a special diet for your child. This will only show your child (and the other children in the class) that they are different. Many times, a child with ADHD (and the other children in the class) will sense your child is different before anyone else does. This is one reason why many children have low self-esteem. In that case, telling a child that the child is terrific will usually not work and may even be counterproductive. Give true, specific, actual examples.
3. Ensure quality sleep:
Adequate sleep is crucial for children with ADHD. Establish a consistent bedtime routine and create a calm sleep environment. Limit electronic devices before bedtime to promote quality sleep. However, in today’s day and age, this isn’t easy, and the child with or without being medicated will probably have an issue with sleep. Pick your battles wisely and selectively.
Celebrating the strengths and talents of children with ADHD
Children with ADHD have unique strengths and talents that should be celebrated. (And yes, even your child!) It’s essential to focus on their positive attributes and encourage their passions. Here are some ways to celebrate the strengths and talents of children with ADHD:
1. Acknowledge their achievements:
Recognize and acknowledge your child’s achievements, whether big or small. Celebrate their accomplishments and encourage them to continue pursuing their interests.
2. Provide opportunities for creative expression:
Encourage your child’s creativity, providing opportunities for artistic expression. This includes acting, singing, drawing, painting, telling stories, and writing. Celebrate their unique perspectives and creations. Do not tell them something they drew is better than the Mona Lisa (maybe in your eyes, it is, but…) when it is not. Kids have a better BS detector (and projector) than their parents.
3. Foster a growth mindset:
Promote a growth mindset in your child by emphasizing the importance of effort and perseverance. Please encourage them to embrace challenges and view setbacks as opportunities for growth. (What have you learned from this? What could you do differently next time? How do you propose to deal with this?)
Conclusion
Supporting a child with ADHD requires empathy, understanding, and a collaborative approach. By recognizing their challenges, nurturing their self-esteem, building a supportive network, educating teachers, seeking professional help, promoting a healthy lifestyle, and celebrating their strengths, you can empower them to embrace their journey and reach their full potential.
Educate yourself, as you will have to know as much as, no more than, others about ADHD, reach out for professional help when needed, and create a nurturing environment that fosters their growth and well-being.
Harold Robert Meyer /The ADD Resource Center http://www.addrc.org/ 12/06/2023
For more than 30 years, Harold and the ADD Resource Center have provided compassionate guidance, ADHD and Life coaching, and quality information to children, individuals, couples, and healthcare providers, demystifying and destigmatizing ADHD.
I wish to thank Chris Ziegler Dendy (1944-2023) for being a good friend and a wonderful person and for all her encouragement. Chris was a fierce advocate for students and families who struggled with ADHD. She wrote numerous books on ADHD, plus she was an international speaker on ADHD. There are so many who have benefitted from her work. We were genuinely synergistic friends, and I miss her.