Persuasion isn’t about what you want; it’s about how it will benefit them to give you something.

Harold Robert Meyer 8/23/2023‍

As a skilled communicator, I have come to understand the power of persuasion. It is a valuable skill that can help us achieve our goals, whether in our personal or professional lives. However, true persuasion goes beyond simply convincing someone to do what we want. It is about understanding the other person’s needs and desires and presenting our request in a way that highlights the mutual benefits. 

 Listen with the intent to understand, not with the intent to reply.

Understanding the power of persuasion

Persuasion is an essential tool in effective communication. It allows us to influence others by presenting our ideas, opinions, or requests in a compelling manner. Understanding the other person’s perspective and appealing to their emotions and logic are crucial to being persuasive. When someone asks for something, it is natural for them to have their own interests in mind. We can build a foundation for persuasive communication by acknowledging their needs and concerns.

The importance of empathy in persuasive communication

Empathy plays a significant role in persuasive communication. By putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes, we can better understand their motivations and concerns. When someone asks for something, take a moment to consider their perspective. What are they hoping to achieve? How does fulfilling their request align with their goals? By empathizing with their situation, we can tailor our message to address their needs and frame our request in a way that resonates with them.

Shifting focus from self-interest to mutual benefit

Shifting the focus from your self-interest to mutual benefit is vital to convince someone that giving you something will ultimately help themInstead of emphasizing what you want, highlight how fulfilling your request will benefit the other person or their organization. This approach demonstrates that you have considered their needs and are genuinely interested in finding a win-win solution. By showcasing the benefits they will gain from fulfilling your request, you create a compelling argument that appeals to their self-interest.

Techniques for highlighting the benefits to the other person

It is essential to highlight the benefits they and/or their organization will receive by following through with your request when trying to persuade someone. One effective technique is to articulate the positive outcomes they can expect clearly. Whether it is personal growth, financial gain, or enhanced reputation, make the benefits tangible and relevant to their interests. Additionally, provide evidence or examples demonstrating how others have benefitted from similar actions. This helps overcome skepticism and reinforces the idea that fulfilling your request will be advantageous for them.

Building trust and credibility in your communication

Trust and credibility are crucial elements in persuasive communication. People are more likely to be persuaded by someone they trust and perceive as credible. To build trust, always be honest and transparent in your communication. Avoid exaggerations or misleading statements that may undermine your credibility. Additionally, emphasize your expertise or experience in the relevant field. By positioning yourself as knowledgeable, reliable, and trustworthy, you increase the likelihood of convincing others that fulfilling your request will be beneficial for them. 

Ensure that your body language, tone, volume and words are consistent and in sync.

If time permits, practice out loud. If you cannot do that, call your phone and say what you intend to say. For more information on this, go to


Most people have times during a 24-hour period when they are more consistently “on their game.” If you take medication, schedule the discussion when you are at your best. If you are taking a medication, it is wise to avoid times when it is wearing off or producing a rebound when it is wearing off.

K.I.S.S. (Keep It Short and Simple)

The art of active listening and understanding their needs

Active listening is a powerful skill that can significantly enhance your persuasive communication. When someone asks for something, take the time to listen to their needs and concerns. It is important to listen with the intention of understanding, not answering, as I often say. Show genuine interest in what they are saying and ask clarifying questions to gain a deeper understanding. Listening actively, you can identify their underlying motivations and tailor your message accordingly. It demonstrates your empathy and commitment to finding a solution that benefits both parties. 

Crafting persuasive messages that resonate

Crafting persuasive messages requires careful consideration of the other person’s perspective. Start by identifying their core values, desires, and interests. Then, align your message with these aspects to create a connection. Appeal to their emotions and use language that resonates with them. Additionally, frame your request in a way that highlights its positive impact on them. By crafting messages that speak directly to their needs and aspirations, you increase the chances of convincing them to fulfill your request. Be clear, concise, and honest.

The role of storytelling in persuasion

Storytelling is a powerful tool in persuasive communication. Humans are naturally drawn to narratives, and stories have the ability to evoke emotions and create a lasting impact. Consider incorporating a relevant and compelling story into your message when trying to convince someone. Paint a picture with words. This story should illustrate how fulfilling your request has positively impacted others or how it aligns with their aspirations. Engaging their emotions through storytelling makes your message more memorable and persuasive.

Overcoming objections and addressing concerns 

When persuading someone to fulfill your request, anticipate and address their objections or concerns. Put yourself in their shoes and consider what potential reservations they may have. By proactively addressing these objections, you demonstrate that you have thoughtfully considered their perspective and are prepared to address any challenges. Provide evidence, data, or testimonials that counter their concerns and reinforce the benefits they will gain by fulfilling your request. This helps build trust and confidence, increasing their likelihood of agreeing to your proposal.

Conclusion: The power of a win-win approach in persuasive communication

In conclusion, the best way to convince someone to fulfill your request is by highlighting how giving you something will ultimately help them. Persuasive communication is not about self-interest but understanding the other person’s needs and framing your request in a way that appeals to their self-interest. By empathizing with their perspective, shifting the focus to mutual benefit, building trust and credibility, actively listening, crafting persuasive messages, incorporating storytelling, and addressing objections, you can effectively persuade others to fulfill your request. Remember, persuasion is not about manipulation but finding a win-win solution that benefits both parties. This approach will enable you to become a skilled communicator who can positively influence others.

Harold Robert Meyer 8/21/2023 (Reviewed 10/10/2023)

 The next step: Better Communication Skills (

/* Clarify tracking */