How Many Dates Should You Wait Before Telling The Person You Have ADHD?

‍Harold Robert Meyer 8/6/2023

Dating can be a complex and exciting journey for anyone, but for those with ADHD, it can present unique challenges. Impulsivity, inattention, and hyperactivity can impact your relationships. Here’s when and how to tell someone you’re dating about your ADHD diagnosis.

Should you disclose your ADHD diagnosis?

The decision to disclose your ADHD diagnosis to someone you are dating is a deeply personal one. There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question, as it depends on various factors, including your comfort level, the stage of the relationship, and the potential impact on both parties involved.

Disclosing your ADHD diagnosis can help your partner better understand you and provide the opportunity for open communication about any challenges that may arise. It can also foster a sense of trust and intimacy. On the other hand, some individuals may worry about the potential stigma or judgment associated with ADHD. It is essential to consider your own feelings and the dynamics of the relationship before deciding whether or not to disclose your diagnosis.

The importance of timing in disclosing your ADHD

Timing plays a crucial role in disclosing your ADHD diagnosis to someone you are dating. It is generally recommended to wait until you have established a level of trust and rapport with the person before sharing such personal information. Rushing into disclosing your ADHD diagnosis too early in the relationship may overwhelm the other person or create misunderstandings.

Take the time to get to know your partner and assess whether they are understanding, empathetic, and open-minded. This will help gauge their potential reaction to your ADHD diagnosis. Remember that a strong foundation of trust and open communication is essential for any successful relationship, and disclosing your ADHD diagnosis should be done within this context.

Factors to consider before disclosing your ADHD

Before having a conversation about your ADHD diagnosis, it is important to consider a few factors. Firstly, reflect on your own acceptance and understanding of your ADHD. It is crucial to have a healthy self-image and be comfortable with your diagnosis before sharing it with someone else. (70% of communication is non-verbal) This self-assurance can help you navigate any potential challenges or misconceptions that may arise during the conversation. 

Secondly, assess the level of trust and communication in your relationship. Are you both at a stage where you feel comfortable discussing personal matters? Has your partner shown empathy and understanding towards other aspects of your life? These factors can help you gauge whether or not it is the right time to disclose your ADHD diagnosis.

Finally, consider the potential impact of disclosing your ADHD on the relationship. While sharing your diagnosis can lead to better understanding and support, it may also change the dynamics and expectations within the relationship. Reflect on how your partner may react and whether they are likely to be supportive and accepting. Being aware of these factors can help you decide when and how to disclose your ADHD.

How to have the conversation about ADHD

Having a conversation about ADHD with your partner requires thoughtful communication and empathy. Here are some tips to guide you through the process:

  1. It is best to begin the conversation when things are going well, not when tensions are high. 
  2. Choose an appropriate setting: Find a comfortable and private space where you can have an open and uninterrupted conversation.
  3. Help your partner understand that ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder, not a personal flaw or weakness.
  4. Share your personal experience: Discuss how ADHD affects you personally and the challenges you may face. Be open and honest about your strengths and weaknesses and how they relate to your ADHD.
  5. Encourage questions. Anticipate any questions or concerns your partner may have and be prepared to address them. Provide resources or recommend further reading to help them understand ADHD better.

Support and resources for dating with ADHD

Navigating dating with ADHD can be challenging, but there are numerous resources available to support you. Consider seeking professional help from ADHD coaches, therapists or counselors who specialize in ADHD. They can provide valuable guidance and strategies for managing the unique challenges that may arise in relationships. At and, you will find many helpful tips.

Additionally, online communities, ADHD coaches, and support groups can offer a sense of belonging and understanding. Connecting with others who have similar experiences can provide a wealth of advice, support, and empathy.

Conclusion and final thoughts

Dating with ADHD can present its own set of challenges, but with open communication, understanding, and empathy, it is possible to build strong and fulfilling relationships. The decision of when to disclose your ADHD diagnosis should be based on your comfort level and the relationship dynamics. Remember that everyone’s experience with ADHD is unique, and what works for one person may not work for another.

Ultimately, the key to successful relationships lies in acceptance, communication, and mutual support. By fostering these qualities and being open about your ADHD, you can create a foundation for a healthy and loving partnership.


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This information may not be complete, accurate, or
up-to-date, so be sure to speak with your healthcare
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THE ADD RESOURCE CENTER – – +1 646/205.8080


Harold Robert MeyerThe ADD Resource Center
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